No Day But Today...

I feel like a deserter. For those who actually read my blog, I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. So much for my New Years resolution.  Between finishing all my projects for university and lesson planning like there's no tomorrow for my month of student-teaching half the curriculum, I've been exceedingly busy. I've been averaging about 4 hours sleep a night, which for me, is bad....to function long-term, I need about 7.

Anyway, for the following week, that (most of it) is behind me as I vacation in the Dominican Republic and gorge myself at the swim-up bar =D  Yes, that's right, this pale-y is headed for darker days as she ventures waaaay down south and meets up for a long overdue date with the sun.  I'm going with my family (mom, dad, and younger brother) and it's our first family vacation in 6 years! Needless to say, I'm extremely excited.

As it stands right now, I got home from doing parent teacher interviews at about 9 tonight, and started packing. I unfortunately ended up having to bring a bit of work with me, but I plan to work for about an hour or so each morning before hitting the beach/pool and I should manage to get most of it finished.  At this point (1 am) I'm just not going to sleep. Our cab comes at 3:30 and our plane takes off at 6.  We fly to Toronto, have a 6 hour layover, then off to the D.R.

Just to give everyone a quick update, I've now finished my fourth year of university (1 more year left!) and I started my student-teaching block this week. I'll be teaching about 50% of the school day, every day.  I've put together a 4-book literature circle - for those who don't know what it is, it's basically novel studies within a group, each student gets grouped according to interest and reading level.  They get questions and "jobs" they have to complete and hand in, and benefit from group discussion which helps them not just read the book but really read the book for deeper understanding and meaning. I've planned the entire thing, from choosing the books to creating activities to scheduling, reading assignments etc. It's been an undertaking, but I think I just might have pulled it off! The second unit I'm planning is in Social Studies. This is the one I have to take with me on my trip to work on...I just didn't have enough time to put it together in its entirety. But oh well. I'll be done my block at the end of April...but I love these kids so much, I just might have to stay another week or so to be pressure free and just help out in the class. Not sure on that yet.  We'll see how frazzled I am at the end of my block.

Anyway, I have a couple more things to organize before I leave, so farewell for now.

xo

I will be the first to admit, I'm a Gossip Girl-aholic. I know it's had some bad press in terms of young teens watching the show and there being content on there that's not appropriate for them, but I'm not getting into that. That's a whole other post on parenting and what parents let their kids do an watch. BUT anyway, being that I watch the show, I have to say that I wish life were really like that sometimes. As I was watching yesterday's episode, I tweeted this:  

Before I drift off to sleep, I thought I'd update here in the blogosphere so that people know I'm still alive, and hopefully well.

NEWSFLASH: I am now officially done year 4 of university, with the exception of my month of student teaching coming up. =D It's a beyond surreal feeling. In less than a year I will be a certified teacher.

This weekend was an absolute gong show and I'm still marveling at how I accomplished it all and remained sane...or am I?

I had 5 final projects/presentations due today, 3 1/2 of which I started and completed over the weekend. Along with working a full set of hours at work (8.5 hours on Saturday and 5.5 hours on Sunday). I somehow managed to stay up until 3:30 this morning to finish everything, at which point I was a on a buzz, so I stayed up til 4 to do a clean of my room which looked like it had lost a fight with a tornado.  Alarm dragged me out of bed at 6:30 and off I went to a 10 hour school day full of presentations.

I will expand more on all the cool and interesting stuff I did tomorrow...when I have more than 2 1/2 hours under my cute little eye sleep-mask (yes I have one...I don't have new blinds for my fancy new window yet and I have a streetlamp directly outside my window that shines in and I need to sleep in complete darkness).

As a quick final note: THANK YOU SO much to my new followers! When I started up this blog I hardly anticipated 1 person wanting to read my daily ramblings, never mind over 20! You guys/gals rock my socks =)

xo

Consider yourself warned ;)


*stands up* Hi, my name is Amanda, and I have naturally curly hair.  I've grown up my whole life with people complementing me on my hair, even when it was at it's witchiest, most awful, fuzz-ball stage.  As a kid, I absolutely hated my hair.  I learned how to braid my hair at the age of 3 because my mom was a nurse who worked night shifts, and my dad was a hopeless cause, and if my hair wasn't braided, by morning it was literally impossible to deal with.  As with most kids, parents don't give their kids hair products to use...no gels, mousses, or balms.  And so, my family and I (because let me tell you, it was a family affair) struggled with my hair for years...broken hair brushes thrown away, hair elastics snapped, screaming fits, fights, chases around the house (with brush in hand), no cutsey little hair clips for me, oh no, I had too much hair to actually ever fit into any of those.  Because along with being *blessed* with curly hair, I was also equally *blessed* with ridiculously thick hair.

Anyways, from the time I was in about grade 5 or so, I would need to get up in the mornings and shower so that my hair would be semi-manageable...thus I usually went to school with damp if not slightly wet hair.  I was always scolded by other outside my immediate family for doing so, and was told repeatedly to use a blow-dryer on my hair. This suggestion only became more persistent as I grew up and started using products in my hair to define my curls etc. and yet we knew from experience that it only turned my head into a fuzzball worthy only of being called "Cousin It".  Then, we were introduced to a really cool product called a diffuser.  For those who don't know, the thing on the right is a     diffuser. It attaches to your blow dryer, and it's main job is to spread out the airflow so as not to disrupt and separate the curls.  It's great, if you want to spend a good 40 minutes blow drying your hair, because with my hair, that's how long it takes.  So that too, got chucked.

In high school, I discovered the hair straightener. I had the hallelujah chorus coming at me from all which ways that day....I looked NORMAL!!!  Not to dwell on this, but the straightener really has changed my life. I'm not one of those people who straighten their hair every day, a) because it takes far too long, and b) because it just isn't healthy for your hair, but I do do it for a couple weeks every month. I'd say about 1/3 of the time my hair is straight.

So lets get to the pictures...
This past week, I decided I would pictorially document why for years I have told people that I cannot and will not use a blow dryer on my hair.  My hair stylist discovered it the first time I went to her and she straightened my hair for me (trade secret...always get her to straighten my hair when I get it cut or coloured...saves me a lot of work!)  She now calls me (and puts me down in her schedule book as) Diana Ross.


Here's (to the left) what my hair normally looks like curly, when I've taken the time to make it look good:



Below, you will see why you never tell a naturally-curly haired girl to blow dry her hair. Personal disclaimer: I'm almost regretting putting this picture out to the public.  Note: I know I look horrid, I'm not wearing any makeup, and I look half-dead. No need to point out the obvious-es to me, K? K. Also...can you tell the curly one was taken in the summer and the blow-drying one in the winter? WOW am I ever pale here....






So THIS is why you never tell a curly-haired person to blow dry her hair with the expectation that that is all she needs to do with it. Sorry folks, but I'm NOT walking out of the house like this, no matter to who's amusement.  This is after product has been administered, a lovely anti-frizz brush has been used, AND half an hour spent getting overheated.

HOWEVER, should you have the decency to tell me I should straighten my hair more often, then this is what you might see (pardon the very myspace-ish picture):

Hello my friends :-) This has been a hectic week to say the least. First of all....I've changed some things in my blog (hopefully you've noticed!) Some of the styling has changed, and I've added a few things here and there, like an About Me page, and a page that will eventually hold a collection of my favourite Quotes.  If anyone has any favourite quotes that they really love, send them to me either in a comment or through my email button on the side and I'll include them on the page (I'll give credit where credit is due)!  A few little decorations and embellishments added along the way, and I'm finally starting to feel at home here on No Day But Today. I'm planning on writing a post as to why I chose my blog title and what it means to me soon...but not in the middle of my craziness. Someone please remind me somewhere down the road in the near future to write on this, okay? Okay!

Anyway, like I said, my week as been extremely hectic.  In the certification part of the education faculty, classes are condensed to 10 weeks instead of the normal 13 weeks, so I'm starting my final week of my 4th year...and then after that soon to be starting my 5th and final year in university (for my double degree anyway). I know I'll go back and get more degrees and stuff eventually, but for now, the end is coming and it's coming quickly.  Back to my point....next week is my final week of classes before I start my teaching block, so all final projects, essays, assignments and presentations are due.  The faculty is a HUGE fan of group projects and presentations and I just don't seem to be having much luck with them this semester...exhibit 1.  I have a group presentation on Wednesday that I haven't even started yet, and my partner is not as enthusiastic about getting it done as I could have hoped. Good ideas, just lacks motivation. So powerpoint and I make an awesome team along with a pot of coffee and plenty of chocolate yet again.  I have no issue saying I did all the work in our self-evaluations. Another suggestion I got from a classmate who cares about her work is just not to put her name on the presentation or any work handed in. Sneaky, but it gets the point across.  I won't lie and say I'm not considering it...

In other news...I had another realization of my age. Some of you might have heard of my fall-to-earth moment when my little brother was filling out registration forms for grade 11 (?!) next year.  The other day, sitting nonchalantly on his shelf in the shower was a razor and can of guys shaving gel.  MY BABY BROTHER IS SHAVING!!!!!!! Gah! I'm not gonna get all sappy and talk about how I used to rock him to sleep and read to him and feed him and play with him and think the sun rise and set on his cute, over-sized little head....no, I won't get like that. *sniffle*  Just because it seems like the universe is trying to tell me I'm getting old...he brought home his driver's ed form the other day. (Thankfully) he wasn't at school early enough and the course was filled up by the time he got there (apparently kids were lining up at 7:30 and the poor teacher in-charge had to fight her way through to get to her office...) so I still have a while before I have to worry about that. Scary bananas though, I tell ya.

In even more news that I just realized...this is my 50th blog post!!  I honestly can't believe I've made it this far. A huge part of that is my followers...you guys keep me honest, even without saying anything, because I know you're reading and that keeps me writing :-) So THANK YOU!!! <3

Now, although I would love to stick around with you lovely folks and chat more about my fabulous life (what planet am I on?!), I have a fabulous fruit and chocolate fondue waiting for me in my kitchen.  Sorry guys, but the chocolate fondue wins, hands down. Much love, and I'll update soon!

*edit* I forgot to add that I've also added a "Blog Roll" in which I list all the bloggers who I'm currently checking in on and reading! (I had added it, but forgot to activate it).
xo

The winning Gold medal moment for Team Canada - Sydney Crosby. 



Canada LOVES Luongo!!! [photo credit]

 

First of all, before getting down to some business of awesomeness, some things that have happened in the last while that I've neglected to include in my blogging:

1. I went to go grab a Starbucks at the mall beside the university last week and came across a used book sale where I came away with 14 children's picture books, all in near-mint condition for $7.  I swear I was thinking in my head "Honey.....START THE CAAAAR!!!" because it was such an amazing deal, and all the money raised goes to supporting literacy within the city and providing tutors. And, of course, I walked away with some incredible books (I'll post a picture here tomorrow when my camera is charged :)) for my future classrooms.

2. I got a B+ on my math test. Now, for me who has crippling perfection most times, I'm actually pretty satisfied with my B+ considering the class average was C. Not bad for the girl who never understood math.

3. For those who have followed my life for the last while, you know my life is insane and that I don't stop often.  In the next week and a half, I have 6 projects/papers/presentations due, most of which haven't been started.  Let the show begin.  BUTTTT...in saying that, I have less than 3 weeks of university left until my teaching block begins for a month, and then I'm done for the summer! =D It really crept up on me this year...I look at the calendar and go holy crap almost every day.

4. Yesterday I judged science fair at my teaching school and it was great fun.  I'm not a science person at all, but I can appreciate a neat project, and I'm really good at nodding and smiling when the material is above me (I'm really not a science person) and I'm a stickler for neatness and order.  It all somehow balances out.

Alright, so now that I've updated some stuff that I've neglected to mention, here's the really awesome thing! I've been gifted with my very first blog award by Gnetch a.k.a. thankgoodnessforthegoodones who is a sweetheart that I met on 20 Something Bloggers and a kindred spirit who I think is just adorable!

Why you may ask? I believe that although they may have broken my heart by not stepping up and being men instead of boys, we still had fun, I still cared for them at one point, and a memory is a memory, even if it had a bittersweet ending. They were still a part of my life, no matter how short a time or how that time may have ended.
They are Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden, and Ralph by Ralph Lauren. I have others as well that I will wear, but these are my 2 favourites that I will never tire of and will always be in my collection.
I've dated a drummer and a bass player, gotten royally screwed by both, and I still have a thing for musicians. Go figure. Music is my passion, and I find it incredibly sexy when a guy can play an instrument (well) and that he cares about music as I do. I have to say that thus far I've been leaning toward the punk-rock/metal type musician, just by pure chance I think, but I am in no way against a pianist or acoustic player...they could serenade me at any time and I'd be perfectly, swimmingly a-ok :).
Self explanatory. It was one of my favourite movies growing up, I thought she was beautiful (loved her headpiece) and I thought her speech pattern was amazing.
Phew! Ok, so there was my 7 things. Hopefully you still like me and will still read my blog after reading those ;)

Now, to award 7 other bloggers for this Beautiful Blogger awards:
And that's a wrap!

xo

Although there were definitely good points to today, I was rather pissed off for most of it.  A couple of weeks ago I did a group presentation for my favourite class Education in a Multicultural Setting on North Korea.  The idea was to pick a culture, present the main facts about the culture and where they come from, and then discuss as a teacher how we would go about helping an child immigrant from such a culture adapt to our Western culture and how to integrate them comfortably and respectfully into our classrooms.  All to be done in 8-10 minutes.  My original group, which consisted of another girl and myself, had the basics planned out and the research divvied up when we were approached by another girl asking if she could join our group, and so we became a group of 3. Although I have much respect and admiration for this new group member, she's from South Korea and comes with a very strong accent and an electronic dictionary glued to her hand.  According to her, she's been here 7 years already and I find that hard to believe.  Anyway, we proceeded to re-think our presentation (the two-some had wanted to do some kind of skit or dramatic presentation and the new member said she wasn't comfortable with that...boring powerpoint presentation it is!).

I (stupidly) volunteered to create the powerpoint presentation when all our individual research was complete and decided upon and was left with not only canceled meetings due to certain group members not being present (can you guess who?) but left rushing literally 5 minutes before our presentation to add a bunch of her information into the slides because she didn't show up the hour and a half earlier for our planned run-through.  To boot, since the time limit was very stringent on this presentation, she had apparently asked that considering we are a group of 3, if we could get a couple extra minutes to present; she was apparently told we could get 12-13 minutes instead of the 8-10 the groups of two received.  Zoom forward to our presentation, and we're just barely hitting the 10 minute mark and our prof is demanding that we wrap it up. Of course, our 4 most important slides are at the end and got the least amount of air time.  *headdesk*  Afterward, a very confused self went to the prof in question and inquired about the extra time we were supposed to have been given.  He said he never told anyone that that was allowed...*headbrickwall*  Needless to say I haven't said a word to the girl in question since and I gave a scathing comment (not naming any names, of course) about our group dynamics in my self-evaluation.

Fast forward to today, where another set of groups are performing.  The first group took 29 minutes. By about 15 minutes we were all looking at our watches and the wall clock wondering why they were still going.  At 20 minutes we started looking back at our prof wondering what the heck was going on.  By 25 minutes we gave up wondering after the presenters in question came out with "And just quickly before we wrap it up, because I know we're running out of time..." YOU RAN OUT OF TIME 20 MINUTES AGO!!! Not once did our prof make a comment, shift in his chair, look at his watch, or make any indication that they were wellllll over the time limit. Now, I obviously have no idea if he wrote any comments on their mark sheet, but the fact that he let them go on for so long is upsetting when we got unceremoniously booted from the front of the class when our time hit the limit.  I was livid.  However, I decided not to stir the pot and say anything until we receive our marks.  If we get crappy marks or are penalized for being "overtime" then I will have to address this issue.  So very unfair.

As if I wasn't already having a rough go of things, I got sat on today. Yes, you read that correctly, sat on.  I was sitting on a bench in the university, waiting for a pick-up, when a group of particularly rowdy boys congregated near me.  Lucky for me (pure, dripping sarcasm there, folks) they were talking about how one guy must have scabies on his penis from how many chicks he's banged in the last week. Lovely. Really...  As they got rowdier they shifted their group to be right in front of me, and the diseased boy in question decided to take a seat on the bench...in exactly my spot.  Needless to say, I let out a few choice expletives, and he got his diseased balls in a knot and called me a whole lot of nasty things for being in his way. Lucky for him my ride called at that exact moment to say that they were outside, other wise his face would have been rearranged.  Yes, I'm a girly-girl, but after years of being teased in elementary school, I have the courage to stand up for myself, and that guy would have been decked into next week.  Totally disgusting.  I came into the car crying with tears of frustration...not once since elementary had I felt that much like a loner, a loser or that...invisible.  Obviously it's not a big deal and I'll most likely never see him again, and who really cares, but in that second it was a complete flashback to elementary. Scary bananas.

On a much more positive note, CANADA WON GOLD!!! Way to go Canadian ladies hockey team! Awesome game...shut-out against the USA!

Basically, with the exception of my presentation, today was a complete waste of 2 hours in traveling on the bus to get to school.  As a cohort we made a unanimous decision that because our drama class was certifiably canceled (our prof is in Vancouver for the Olympics because she won a spot for her aerial-artistry video, which can be viewed here), we would take the whole morning off to get work done and not go to the dreaded Aboriginal Education class. For those new to my blog, please do not see that last comment as a sign of racism or read into anything that could stem from that.  I would have loved to have learn about how to integrate Aboriginal (or I suppose now classified as Indigenous Peoples) traditions, beliefs and culture into my future classroom, what those traditions, beliefs and cultures are and the meanings behind them, etc, however, with this instructor, that is sadly not the case.  Our first class was spent almost in entirety with him making verbal attacks at the class at large (a predominant portion of which are Caucasian) about what "our people" did to "his people" at which point I lost complete respect for him and what he was teaching.  Apparently it hasn't gotten much better according to the few who still attend his class every now and then. It's a shame because he is perpetuating exactly what having courses like this were supposed to dissuade.  Anyways....before I get to riled up about that topic, which I have plenty to say about, let's continue.

We all decided to skip the morning to begin work on several of the 6 projects and/or papers that we have due within the next week and a half.  Happily, I got quite a bit of one finished today, found a shwack (yes, that's a word in my dictionary) of research for a paper, and begun thinking about another paper. In essence, my morning was a success.  Zoom forward to this afternoon.  I did my presentation, and it was all fine and dandy for that half hour, then the prof took over and it was a complete snooze-fest.  I'm usually really involved in her class, but for some reason today, everything she said just went right over my head and I couldn't catch on to anything.  In the following class, we proceeded to do something rather useless that honestly would not have affected us for the better or for the worse had we not been there.  All in all, I could have stayed home today and gotten a heck of a lot more accomplished.  Glad I did the presentation however...she seemed to like it and was nodding a lot when I stated points that I had felt were really pivotal points anyway, so that made me feel confident about it.

On a MUCH more positive note.....CANADA WON AGAINST RUSSIA tonight!!! =D

On that positive note, I'm out for the night.  My contacts have been glazing over from wearing them too long the entire time I've been writing this.  Thank goodness I know my way around a keyboard.  'Night all.

Sooo my neck has seized up for no apparent reason.  I can't turn my head left or right and I can't tilt it either way either. I've been switching between the magic bag and the ice pack all day and I got a deep massage from my mom which only made it feel worse =(.  I had a knotted muscle on one side a couple weeks ago that got an ass-kicking with one of my mom's awesome deep-tissue massages, but even then it was still hovering in the background this whole time and it's now decided to have a party and invite it's friends to the other side to play.  It's not even really my actual neck, but it's right at the base of my neck where it slants into my shoulders...even the straps of my tank top are making it hurt because it's so hyper-sensitive right now.  I feel like the skin should be black and blue and purple with how painful it is - it feels like there should be a ginormous bruise, but there isn't. I foresee a night of no sleep and oodles of pillows.  Luckily, I have a presentation tomorrow, so that works out purrrrfectly. *Note, that was said extremely sarcastically.


Over and out for now. Sweet dreams to the rest of you.

xo

Hello all my bloggy friends...it's certainly been a while.  I must say, I purposely stayed away. I was having a bit of a rough go, had a breakdown, got over it, and am now back to my uber-in-control-of-everything self with a penchant for writing, socializing, and being an all-round nice person.  Thank goodness, because the "me" that was last week was not a pretty picture.  To fill you in without all the icky details, I basically stayed in bed from Sunday til Tuesday, got through 5 whole seasons of ER, had a pile of junk food on my desk, and didn't want to be around people at all.  It was pretty bad.  With all the work that my mum knew I had to do for university, she finally came to me and asked if I was quitting school, because if I was then I was being kicked out.  That then triggered the breakdown where I cried for several hours and felt bad for myself.  I really don't even know why.  Combination of things I'm guessing: crazy amount of stress and strain at home right now between my mom going onto long-term disability, and teen issues to the extreme between my brother and my parents which then causes issues between the parental units themselves, add to that the stress of deadlines for school, working 2 part-time jobs, and planning for my teaching block, AND the fact that it was Valentine's Day weekend (which I will expand on momentarily) I just shut down, shut off, and didn't give a crap.  Dangerous territory for a perfectionist/over-achiever.  Yikes.

The whole Valentine's Day debacle went like this: yes, I'm an independent woman, (see David's blog post on The sexiest breed of woman - miss independent) and yes I don't need a guy in my life, I think I'm doing pretty well without one, however that does not negate the fact that I'd like a man in my life. All day at work on the Saturday before V-day I was asked by my co-workers what my plans for V-day were and if my boyfriend was planning anything special. I lost count how many times I tried to convince everyone that I wasn't seeing anyone, and that yes, I would be at home, alone, with a box of chocolates with bites taken out of them and a bottle of wine watching a rom-com.  That just made me realize how much I wanted that in my life - the boyfriend that is - not that I need it to survive, but I just want the comfort of knowing there's someone to cuddle up to, someone to cry to who isn't your sister/best friend, and someone who will make you laugh no matter what the situation.

So when my mom approached me, I basically just burst into tears and sputtered a bunch of nonsensical blubber about feeling weighed down, and not feeling good enough in my life, or for anyone, not being able to travel like my friends (one had just got confirmation of a job in Japan for a year working on robots, 2 others are studying out of province, one of which routinely travels overseas volunteering) and that I hadn't taken time off before going to university to get life experience, that I wasn't enjoying university, I didn't have social life because school was too important, my fears about not being able to be a good teacher, and on...and on...and on...*gasp for air* and on...I think I blabbered for about a good 10 minutes before I finally ran out of steam.  My poor mother. Oi.

ANYWAYS...that was my breakdown. I'm now over it, and back into school mode, getting 'er done, and going about my crazy, hectic life.

I have so much to talk about, but will do it in subsequent entries or else it would take days to read this single entry.  Before I pack it in for the night however, I'd like you all to take a moment and check out this video.  Please, please, please, PLEASE take a look at this video:



This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.  This is so important.  If you, or someone you know is living with an Eating Disorder, please help them or let us help you get help...it's not too late. Trust me.

Here is the facebook event which also provides several informative links.  NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) is an amazing association, please take the time to look them up too.

Happy Birthday 18th (yesterday) Birthday lil' cousin!! Spent the night celebrating with friends and family and then slept most of today. I'm getting old =/

Over and out from the old and aged.

xo

When defining Canada
you might list some statistics
you might mention our tallest building
or biggest lake
you might shake a tree in the fall
and call a red leaf Canada
you might rattle off some celebrities
might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie
might even mention the fact that we've got a few
Barenaked Ladies
or that we made these crazy things
like zippers
electric cars
and washing machines
when defining Canada
it seems the world's anthem has been
" been there done that"
and maybe that's where we used to be at
it's true
we've done and we've been
we've seen
all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine
and turned into theme parks
but when defining Canada
don't forget to mention that we have set sparks

T.W.L.O.H.A. - To Write Love On Her Arms - Rescue is possible; we will be the hopeful. ♥

xo
 

I did the presentation today that I've been preparing for the last little while and I'm now considering myself incoherent for the next full day.  My brain cells are fried, partly from the double seizure I had yesterday, and partly from having to try and function normally for the presentation today, so I'm calling it a day and waking up tomorrow to do absolutely nothing :)

xo

Ok so I'm not the sickest person out there by any means - I'm not dieing from cancer, I don't have an impending death, I don't have a disease that effects my day to day life, but I do have a disorder that really gets in the way sometimes and makes life difficult.  When I was 17 I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder due to my permanent extremely low blood pressure.  Blood pressure is a funny thing...when it's too high, we can prescribe medication to lower it; but when it's too low, there's not much one can do except eat really salty foods and hope that they don't develop a cholesterol problem.

Two weeks after I graduated from grade 12, I had four massive grand mal seizures within a 4 hour period - I was on bed rest and high doses of drugs for the rest of the summer which I don't remember.  To be honest, about the only thing I do remember from that summer is my friends bringing me a happy-face overloaded care package complete with freshly-made muffins and a helium balloon among other things. I was so "out of it" that I couldn't even get to the bathroom on my own two feet without someone almost carrying me and then standing guard outside the door in case I went down.  I wasn't allowed the luxury of showering in privacy as someone always had to be in the bathroom in case I passed out in the shower. That went on for most of the summer and a good portion of the fall and winter.  I recovered the use of my body by the time university came around in the fall and I started a full course load amongst doctor appointments, brain scans, and other medical tests.  I had my brain scanned multiple using CT scans and MRIs to rule out there being a tumor or other abnormality, I underwent cardiology testing to rule out any cardiac issues, and I underwent neurological testing to ensure that my nervous system was functioning up to snuff.  When all came back with negative results for whatever they were trying to test for, they all concluded what I had was called neurocardiogenic syncope...or a fancy way of saying I fainted, really badly.  We went on to find out that because I had a naturally low blood pressure, my fainting lowered it even more, causing me to slip into a seizure.  Unfortunately, as I said before, there isn't much the medical field can do for low blood pressure patients other than to tell them to eat healthily, add plenty of salt to their diet (twice what is recommended in an average person actually), get plenty of rest, and not to become stressed too often.

I was on a strong dosage of anti-seizure medication for a year until they decided that it was doing me no good nor no bad, so they took me off and that was that.  Since then, I've had several seizures, several almost-seizures, and several days where I can't get out of bed because something short-circuits in my head and my body feels "out of sync" (only way I can describe it).  I actually had a full-fledged seizure in the supermarket last year right at the checkout.  Incredibly embarrassing.

I may not have epilepsy like everyone assumes I do when I seizure or say I have a seizure disorder, but it is similarly debilitating.  When I was first admitted to the hospital for seizures, my license was immediately revoked in the ER and I waited over 2 years to get it reinstated. I am back at the beginner's level until I take the road test.  Even though I've had it back for over a year, I still haven't taken that test - I've seizured too many times and been close too many times to feel comfortable behind the wheel.  Because of this, I need to either bus everywhere, or be driven everywhere, which really sucks.  I also can't go out with anyone without telling them that I have a disorder...which usually freaks them out because "what if it happens" while I'm with them? I had one guy warn me I had better not do it around him otherwise he'd be down on the floor beside me having a heart attack from panic.  Like I can control it.  I also can't go out and party like I'd like to and drink because alcohol dehydrates and lowers blood pressure, and is thus a trigger.  Sure, I have some nights where I let loose and don't give a shit, but then I pay for days after because I feel weak and shaky and can't do much but guzzle down sodium-high gatorades and powerades as though my life depended on it (funny...it actually does).

My life is generally pretty stressful being a full-time student in a double-degree professional program with two part-time jobs - I can't help that.  So, we come to days like today, where my alarm clock goes off at 6 and as I sit up, my sheets are soaked with sweat, my jaw hurts from being clenched, and I have fingernail marks wear my fingers dug into my skin - a seizure in my sleep.  I figure I'll skip morning classes and go for the afternoon and that a couple more hours sleep will help and as I'm falling back asleep it happens again.  Two back-to-back seizures which hasn't happened in several years.  I try to get up out of bed, but it feels like the back of my head is nailed to the pillow and like the internal balance of my whole body is somehow just "off".  I call it a day before it's even started and repeat to myself how much I love my body.  I tell my mom that I'm taking a "Mental Health day" and try to fall back asleep.  When I get up finally, she asks how I'm feeling and I say I feel "off" - and she gets it.  Back to bed with my bottle of gatorade I go and another day is shot all to hell because of my stupid body not being able to handle stress.  But, I'm a lot better off than most.  And for that I am thankful.

xo

If yesterday felt like Friday already, today feels like it should be Friday again.  I'm running out of steam and fast.  Other than this extremely annoying powerpoint I'm putting together for Thursday, I've given up trying to do anything of substance this week.  I honestly don't even know where the time goes...I got home around 5, ate, took a shower, straightened my hair and finished half of the presentation and it's 11 and I'm struggling just to keep my eyes open after a day of only one class and a group meeting. What gives dammit?!

The past couple of days I've been texting back and forth with a friend (I'll loosely consider him this) who last spring I went out with a couple times, decided it wasn't going to work, and most likely did him some permanent damage.  I feel bad, but in truth, I wasn't ready for anything, and we both had different expectations and I wasn't ready to move that quickly or into a world that was quite different from my own and my life has hardly been one of stability the past several years where I can give someone part of myself.  Needless to say, I know I hurt him, and I wish there had been a better way to end things.  Anyway, since then, we've remained in contact and the past couple days we've been texting each other back and forth and it's been nice to just have someone to chat with where there are no expectations placed on me to be the one who's centered and in-control...but just to be.  I love my best friends so much it hurts, but I'm often the one with the role of comforter or self-esteem booster or shoulder to cry on etc and not that I don't love it - I love being able to help the ones I love, but sometimes, it's nice to be able to not have that role and like I said just be.

Anyway, after that little interesting tidbit, I think I'm off to bed. I have an early start in the morning, a long day ahead of me and it will all look better with a little more sleep on my side.

ps. ONLY 3 MORE DAYS UNTIL READING WEEK!!!! (Can you tell I desperately need a break?)

xo

Your Mondays feel like Fridays. Oi vay. 

Anybody else got a "You know it's going to be a long week when" point? Add 'em to the list :)

Seriously, I am in such rough shape right now. I shouldn't have even been allowed out in public today.  I'm going to bed.  Looks as though my brother is fine for those wondering, he tore up a bunch of ligaments and has a bruise the size of Canada across his leg, but he's teetering around on his crutches and batting us around with them, so he's good.

xo

Sooo after now procrastinating for 3 days, I finally have time to talk about the awesomeness that was my Friday :)

As I mentioned in my Thursday's post, I got asked to read to the grade 4 class, and chose to bring a whole shwack of Robert Munsch books.  Since I'm student-teaching in a grade 6 classroom, I don't get many chances to really read to my students (the classroom teacher reads from a novel to them almost daily, but that's HER territory) so this was a treat and I took full advantage of it.  I had such a blast making all the sound effects and silly voices....I'm such a nerd =).  I read them 3 books and then got a huge class hug at the end and was presented with a volunteer thank-you package...SO CUTE!  Eeek...makes me miss the younger kids something fierce!

However, the other awesome part of my day was with my own grade 6'ers and our health class.  We're currently in our safety unit (safety of self, self in community, and safety of others) and we had just begun internet safety the previous class.  For Friday's lesson I had prepared 10 scenarios where internet safety is an issue, for example:


"You are doing research for a class project in the lab.  You use a search engine to find links for the project.  You click on one of the links and it opens to a webpage that you realize has little if anything to do with your research topic and it shows a picture of a scantily dressed or nude person.  What should you do?"


I prepped my students before starting the class by explaining that some of what we would be discussing would be uncomfortable at times, but it was all very serious etc etc etc.  And lo and behold, they were amazingly well-behaved and handled all situations with respect and brilliant thinking.  I put up each scenario one-by-one, had them write a few sentences in response, then discussed as a class.  The questions/answers they all had were more than I could have hoped for from them.  At the end of the class, they wanted to keep going and complained when the teacher stepped in to begin teaching the next lesson.  I walked around for the rest of the day with a perpetual smile on my face lookin' like a right goof.  But it's alright, because now I got them hooked.


My Saturday was consumed with a conference for student-teachers at the university.  Not a bad conference this year, I was rather impressed by the sessions I attended.  To make it worthwhile, I won a door prize at the end of the whole thing, so I didn't feel too down about being at school on a Saturday at 8:30 in the morning.  In the evening, I relaxed in our box at the MTS centre watching the hockey game, getting drunk with my dad and having an exceptionally good time with him and my brother and his girlfriend (although we're not "technically" calling her that...they're 15 and my parents are a bit old-school.  It's my brother's friend.)  Great end to an pretty good day.


As I sit here writing, I just received a phone call that my brother has been taken by ambulance to hospital from his hockey game.  Apparently he's royally shattered his knee and it's not looking so great, so if all you bloggers could keep him in your thoughts, that would be awesome.
(Will update when I know more)

xo

I may have told a white lie.  Just a little one.  I just got home from a hockey game and I'm beat, and so I shall write tomorrow after I get home from work when I actually have to be on my computer in order to do homework. I wish I could write more tonight, but I'm so overtired that my eye is twitching so hard it's actually impairing my vision, which is bad enough without help from an overtired muscle.  So, goodnight, and I shall have to write triple tomorrow! At least I'm writing something everyday though, right? Glass half empty/half full.

xo

...Will be reported about tomorrow :)  Right now, I've just finished having a get together with my seester (from another meester ;) aka my best friend) and I'm in desperate need of some sleep before tomorrow's snore-fest of an all-day conference at the university. So adieu for now, and I shall write double tomorrow =)

xo

Since February is "I Love to Read Month", I was asked by the grade 4 teacher at my school to come and be a guest reader to her kids this week for about a half an hour at any time in the day and to come prepared with books. I felt honoured, and of course said yes (it helps that she's a close friend of the family and has kind of taken me under her wing... :)).  Of course, being me, I waited until tonight at about 10 to go searching through my basement of piled up junk for all my and my brother's childhood books. *facepalm*.

Needless to say, I found the several Rubbermaid totes of books and keepsakes and sat, for 40 minutes looking through the pages of my childhood loving every second of it.  Robert Munsch, Disney, Berenstein Bears, E.B. White (Stuart Little and The Trumpet of the Swan), The Boxcar Children, Goodnight Moon....oh man.  Every single time I thanked God that I was such a stubborn child and would throw a screaming fit if my mom even suggested that we perhaps give away or get rid of some of my books...I'm almost counting down until I can set up these books in my own future classroom and have my own classroom library.  Nerdy and cheesy, I know. But when I saw that cardboard boxcar book caddy...wow.  That was when I squealed.  I kid not.  I can't wait to have that thing set up again for my set of Boxcar children books....yay for Scholastic specials when you're seven years old.  Does anyone remember those book series they used to do on the back pages? You could become part of a club and get a whole bunch of cute little additives, along with a book or two every month and your parents paid like 30$ a year.  I was part of said club for the Boxcar children for ohhh...at least 4 years.  There were monthly newsletters that had puzzles, recipes, "updates" on the children...all sorts of things.  Coolest. Thing. Ever.

Geez I miss those times...